کارگاه بهبود زندگی مشترک به صورت کاملا رایگان در اختیار افراد قرار گرفته است. تا بتوانند با استفاده و به کار بستن آن در زندگی کیفیت زندگی خود را ارتقا بخشند. این مقاله یکی از چند مقاله ای است که در این حوزه بارگذاری شده است. برای استفاده بیشتر و موثر تر افراد می توانند به دیگر مقالات نیز مراجعه کرده و آن ها را نیز مطالعه نمایند.در اینجا قرار بر آن است که به بحث عادات غلط در زندگی مشترک بپردازیم.
عادت
به طور کلی عادت واژه ای شناخته شده است. به هنگامی که یک فرد وابستگی جدایی ناپذیر به یک رفتار یا شی و یا عملی دارد، آن عمل و رفتار و شی وارد عادات وی می گردند. به طور مثال برخی عادت دارند گوشه لب هایشان را بجوند. برخی عادت دارند با پا به روی زمین ضرب بگیرند. برخی عادت به تولید صدا دارند و… از گذشته به این دلیل که کنار گذاشتن عادت بسی سخت و دشوار است، ضرب المثلی ساخته اند با این عنوان که… «ترک عادت موجب مرض است.» حقیقتا که چنین نیست. عادت اشتباه باید کنار گذاشته شود ولو آنکه به اصطلاح موجب مرض باشد( گرچه عادات نیک و خوب نیز باید از بین بروند و تنها برای نفس کار هر بار تکرار شوند نه برای از روی عادت بودن. به هر حال این بحث در این مجال نمی گنجد. )
عادت معمولا افراد را به شخصه درگیر می کند. به عبارتی طرف معامله فرد در عادات و عادت خودش است. حال اگر این عادات وارد مرحله ای تازه شده و دیگری را هم در خود دخیل کنند دیگر واقف به خود فرد نیست. به هنگامی که عادت وارد زندگی مشترک می شود در برخی مواقع و موارد ممکن است آزار شریک زندگی را در پی داشته باشد و منجر به عادات غلط در زندگی مشترک شود.
در اینجا به برخی از این موارد خواهیم پرداخت.
لازم به ذکر است که …
این نکته را نیز باید در نظر داشت که اکثریت جامعه در نظر گرفته شده اند. و ممکن است این عادات در فردی باشند اما شریک زندگی وی را آزار ندهند. در اینجا به صورت تیتر وار به این موارد خواهیم پرداخت و سپس به طور کامل توضیح داده خواهد شد.
عادات غلط
- عادت به دخالت دادن افراد دیگر در موارد خصوصی
- عادت به فرار از مشکلات
- عادت های رفتاری مانند (غذا خوردن با صدا، بیش از حد شوخ بودن و…)
- عادت به توجیه کردن
- عادت به خیانت
- عادت به بد قولی
- و…
حال فرصت آن است که به طور کامل و مفصل به توضیح موارد ذکر شده بپردازیم.
نکته:
هیچ یک از موارد ذکر شده جنسیت خاصی نداشته و تمامی افراد را شامل می شوند
عادت به دخالت دادن افراد دیگر در موارد خصوصی
معمولا این عادت می تواند تمامی افراد را به ستوه بیاورد. دخالت دادن خانواده، دوست، آشنای فامیلی و… در موارد خصوصی می تواند شریک زندگی افراد را آزرده خاطر نماید. تنها در صورتی که دو فرد با یکدیگر به توافق رسیده برای در میان گذاشتن مسئله و مشورت، می توان آن را به دیگران نیز انتقال داد. اما حریم خصوصی افراد چیزی است که خط قرمز آنان محسوب می شود. در میان گذاشتن آن با دیگری نه تنها عادتی اشتباه است بلکه رفتاری غیر اخلاقی است.
عادت به فرار از مشکلات
آسان ترین راه در برخورد با مشکلات، فرار از آن هاست. فرار از مشکلات می تواند عادتی بد و غیر قابل تحمل شناخته و نام برده شود. به هنگامی که دو نفر با یک دیگر تشکیل زندگی مشترک می دهند، قصد شریک شدن در تمامی مراحل را در سر می پرورانند. حال اگر فردی در مشکلات شانه خالی کرده و عادت به فرار از مشکلات داشته باشد، شریک زندگی را نا امید می کند. چرا که از نامِ شریک زندگی مشخص است. شریک در زندگی! نه تنها شریک در شادی.
عادت های رفتاری مانند (غذا خوردن با صدا، بیش از حد شوخ بودن و…)
تفاوت های رفتاری می تواند باعث از بین رفتن آرامش زندگی شود. اگر شخص غذا را با صدا میل کند و شریک زندگی وی از این رفتار آزار بیند، می تواند این عادت، عادتی اشتباه نام برده شود. و باز هم به دلیل این تفاوت های فردی ممکن است شوخ طبع بودن نیز شریک زندگی فردی را آسیب رساند.
عادت به توجیه کردن
توجیه رفتار و عادات یکی از دیگر عادات غلط افراد است. به هنگامی که فرد از قبول رفتار خود کناره گیری کرده و دست به توجیه می زند، توان آزار دادن پارتنر خود را دارد. این عادت کمی شباهت به مسئولیت ناپذیری افراد دارد. اما کمی بدتر و کمی سخت تر. به آن دلیل که توجیه کار را نمی توان قانع کرد. فردی که دائم دست بر توجیه می زند در حال سانسور کردن خود است.
عادت به خیانت
خیانت چه یک دفعه چه در دفعات متعدد رفتاری بس سخیف و شرم آور است. حال برخی افراد عادت واعتیاد خیانت دارند. در چنین شرایطی نیز عموما راضی به جدایی از پارتنر همیشگی خود نیستند. در نتیجه با وجود پارتنر و خیانت نارضایتی را در زندگی خود جاری می نمایند.
عادت به بد قولی
بد قولی نیز یکی دیگر از این عادات است. لزوما هم به معنای سر وقت بودن نمی باشد. برخی قول ها نظیر قول ازدواج، قول سفر، قول میهمانی و… هم در صورت عدم انجام به نارضایتی منجر می شوند. بد قولی نیز شباهتی بسیار با بی مسئولیتی دارد.
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